How to Know If You Are Spiritually Mature: What a Clogged ShopVac Taught Me About Christian Men
I never liked the guy.
He was one of the main volunteer youth leaders at church: a middle-aged, successfully self-employed family man, a great cook, and the church’s go-to handyman. Most guys looked up to him.
I did not.
Whenever the youth pastor went on a two-week vacation, "Frank" (not his real name) took over our weekly meetings. I hated it because Frank treated me differently than the other kids.
He would chum it up with the basketball guys, cracking jokes and roughhousing with all the dudes. But the second he turned to me, it was straight militant demands.
"Gordon, take off all the masking tape from the game floor."
"Gordon, take the trays downstairs and wash them. Don’t forget to rinse the water cooler before making the lemonade."
While the rest of the guys were upstairs flirting with girls, I was trapped in the basement doing food prep and clean up. It felt like straight-up maltreatment and indentured servitude.
The absolute lowest point was the night he told me to vacuum the main room after youth group ended. The regular vacuum was missing, so only an base model ShopVac was available. But before I could even start, I had to empty it and clean the air filter because some "blessed" church member had vacuumed an ungodly amount of drywall dust the day before with the wrong filter installed.
I was furious.
It wasn’t until 25 years later that the truth hit me: Frank wasn’t disrespecting me. He actually respected me more than any other teenager in that room.
The Trap of "Vibe-Based" Faith and Performance-Based Christianity
I was completely blind to reality back then because I thought spirituality in church had to look a certain way. I thought spiritual growth was about being seen: getting up on stage, receiving validation for articulate prayers, or raising my hands during worship songs.
A lot of men get stuck in this exact same trap. We reduce spiritual maturity in men to mere feelings, emotional vibes, and public theatrics.
Maybe your wife or partner cries during the Sunday sermon and the final worship song, but you don’t.
Maybe by the seventh repetition of a chorus, she has both hands raised in the air, while you don't feel inclined to move at all.
So you sit in the pew wondering: Is something wrong with my faith? Am I broken spiritually?
Not at all.
1 Timothy 3: Biblical Qualifications for Spiritual Maturity in Men
When the Apostle Paul outlines the qualifications for spiritual leaders and mature Christian men in 1 Timothy 3, he doesn't mention emotional reactions to sermons, vocal prayers, or raising hands during worship.
Instead, Scripture emphasizes a man's character, faithfulness, emotional intelligence, leadership skills, and marketplace credibility.
Those are the exact same traits rewarded in business and daily life. If you show up to work, keep your word, and manage your responsibilities, you are already practicing the core pillars of biblical leadership and spiritual growth even when you're not as familiar with the nuanced trappings of church culture.
A Quick Checklist for True Spiritual Maturity
If you want to measure your spiritual walk, skip the performance metrics and ask yourself these questions:
Respect for Scripture: Do you read the Bible and submit to its truth?
Integrity: Do you keep your word when you make a commitment?
Leadership: Can you facilitate and care for a group (like your own family)?
Emotional Capability: Do you have practical tools to handle anger, disappointment, and discouragement?
Value-Add Presence: Do people generally see you as a reliable asset when you enter a room?
If you answered yes, you are spiritually mature (minus the stage theatrics).
Stop selling yourself short. Don't measure your walk with God against a standard the Bible never established. If you are intentionally present, engaging with people, meeting practical needs, and taking care of your surroundings, you are on point.
"Running the House": Service Over Stage Time
Frank wasn't trying to punish a resentful teenager with a dirty ShopVac. He was calling me higher.
He saw a kid who was capable and mature enough to handle the actual burden of hospitality in God’s house. While the other guys got to make announcements and tell jokes on stage, Frank invited me to help him run the house.
He was asking me to do the more spiritually mature thing.
Building personal capability and serving behind the scenes isn't always glamorous, but it is where true Christian leadership is forged. Don't mistake the unseen work for a lack of spiritual purpose.
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